


Scrabble

by ravensjaprentiss0209



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Angst, Jemily - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-11
Updated: 2017-09-11
Packaged: 2018-12-26 10:45:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12057366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ravensjaprentiss0209/pseuds/ravensjaprentiss0209
Summary: JJ tries to cope with Emily's "death."





	Scrabble

**Author's Note:**

> First, I do not own Criminal Minds or characters.  
> This is my first fic, so I hope it's good. Feel free to review and criticize. I was watching Lauren and was inspired by the hospital scene. It just kinda went from there. Thanks in advance for reading and reviewing, hope you enjoy. 
> 
> Considering making this a series, let me know what you think.

JJ stopped just before the hallway ended, taking a shaky breath. This is what’s best for her, she thought. It was true, but it still hurt. She braced herself against the wall, taking several deep breaths before straightening her shirt and rounding the corner into the hospital’s waiting room.

Nothing could have possibly prepared her for what met her on the other side of that wall. Six agents got to their feet, staring expectantly in her direction. The words she had rehearsed only moments before caught in her throat, and Garcia was the first to understand. JJ’s heart broke as tears flowed freely down the technical analyst’s cheeks.

“She never made it off the table.” She didn’t even recognize her own voice as the words left her mouth. Everything sounded distant.

After Garcia, it was surprisingly Rossi who broke down. Everyone else stared in shock as the eldest agent sobbed silently, sinking back into his chair. It was no secret that Emily was his favorite agent. He always treated her like the daughter that he never had, and now she was gone.

Everything seemed to be unraveling at the seams, and JJ was helpless to stop it. Reid moved quickly, despite the shaking steps that he took. He began walking numbly toward the operation room where Emily was bound to be, lifeless on the table, but JJ pulled him firmly back to reality.

“Spence,” she spoke softly, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“I didn’t get to say goodbye,” he whispered. The words tore through JJ, and she grabbed the frail agent, pulling him into a desperate hug. His body trembled with sobs and she let the tears fall from her own eyes as she tightly held her best friend. She felt more guilty about lying to him than she felt about anything else. Her eyes followed Hotch as he silently excused himself from the room. She knew him, knew that he couldn’t let the team see him cry. He was supposed to be strong for them. She whispered in Reid’s ear, instructing him to join the rest of the team, and followed Hotch out.

“She’s not dead,” she said before she could stop herself. He didn’t speak, but raised an eyebrow at her. He seemed to be in shock, so she continued, the words tumbling rapidly from her mouth. “I made a call, Hotch. She needs to be safe, and the only way we can do that is if she’s dead. Doyle escaped, and God only knows what he’s capable of, now that he knows the kid is alive. You know her, she’ll try to go it alone, and we can’t have that happen. We need her to be underground until we can catch that son of a bitch and bring him in ourselves.”

Hotch nodded, slowly, processing. She had to give him credit, he didn’t betray any emotion, and any onlooker would think he was the stony faced Hotch, afraid to grieve in public. “When they have to find out, I’ll take the fall,” he began. “Non-negotiable. But you’re right. This is what’s best. So, I’m with you, 100%. We can bring her back when we get Doyle. Until then, we can fly her to Bethesda, and set her up with some information. Passports, money. Obviously we can’t give her enough to resume her usual lifestyle, but she’ll be comfortable. From Maryland, you'll fly with her to Paris.” JJ nodded, swallowing back tears. _This is what’s best for her. This is what’s best. She’ll be safe this way._

The weeks that followed were more excruciating than JJ could have imagined. She sat on her couch, looking down at her laptop. She hadn’t opened any windows, and she was watching the minutes tick by on the clock. 2:30. She opened the web browser and typed in a website that she had used to play scrabble with Emily when they were in the office working on paperwork or when JJ was in Afghanistan and Emily was on a case. If only Emily could play with her now. She closed her eyes and thought back to the last time she saw Emily.

_They held Emily’s funeral the day that JJ was supposed to meet her in Bethesda and accompany her on the flight to Paris, and even though JJ knew that her friend was in a hotel less than an hour away, she felt like she had lost the only person that ever mattered. In reality, if she thought about it, she had. She wasn’t even allowed to contact Emily._

_Emily was already on the plane when JJ arrived, and she was upset by the battered appearance of the older woman. She looked like hell warmed over. She had dark bags under her eyes, and her clothes hung loosely off of her. She was more frail than JJ had ever seen her. She sat with her legs up on the couch, her eyes closed, but JJ knew that she wasn’t asleep._

_JJ crossed the cabin and sat awkwardly on the other end of the couch. Emily opened her eyes and looked at the blonde woman, but didn’t say anything. She simply observed as JJ stared down at her hands, twisting them uncomfortably. There was something about the way JJ avoided her gaze that almost hurt._

_“_ _The first thing I’m doing when we get to Paris is having this removed,” Emily said suddenly, pulling down the collar of her shirt to reveal the clover shaped scar where Doyle had burned it into her flesh. JJ JJ slowly looked up to meet Emily’s gaze. “How could a brand hurt more than getting staked?” Emily asked with an uncomfortable laugh._

_“Maybe it’s a psychosomatic itch you’re scratching,” she suggested, crossing the aisle to sit next to her friend for the last time. “The brand left an emotional toll, Doyle established dominance over you by marking you as his. A stake--I mean, you overcame death. The ultimate victory over your foe. Why suffer a pain you’re proud of? Or you could always get another tattoo. Something transformative, like a phoenix.” Emily let out an uncomfortable chuckle. “Or a blackbird,” she added, seeing the look in Emily’s eyes._

_“I love the song,” Emily replied with a half smile. “But something tells me I shouldn’t tread in your waters.”_

_JJ raised her eyebrows as if to say she didn’t know what Emily meant, but Emily wasn’t buying it. “Come on, JJ. Something’s obviously different about you. You commandeered and Interpol jet. You’re profiling me. Why didn’t you say your transfer was a backstop?”_

_Again, JJ didn’t say anything. She dropped her gaze to her hands again, pursing her lips slightly. Emily narrowed her eyes at the blonde woman. “Oh, I know that look. The ‘I can’t trust anyone but myself’ look. I invented it.” “_

_Do you ever feel like you’re in way over your head?” JJ asked quietly, still avoiding eye contact. She spoke so suddenly that Emily’s eyes widened slightly, but she didn’t answer JJ. “I got assigned to an information hunt. Instead, I am chasing an unsub who killed my informant._

_Emily heard the emptiness in her friend’s voice, and could see it in her eyes how lost she felt. “What would Hotch tell you to do?” she offered, and JJ looked up at her. Emily saw a light bulb flicker, and hoped that it would go somewhere._

_“_ _Focus on victimology, let behavior lead the way,” she said, clenching her jaw. Emily watched the gears turn and smiled to herself. JJ always clenched her teeth like that when she was thinking._

_“_ _Exactly,” she said, then prompted JJ. “Who did your unsub kill?”_

_“_ _The one person I was getting through to,” JJ said, taking deep breaths. She cocked her head to the side, recalling the events that had led up to her informant’s murder._

_“Why?” Emily prodded, deepening her gaze at the other woman._

_“Because… I was getting through to her,” JJ said, slowly. There it was, the light bulb came on. She had figured something out. “What if she was about to expose her killer? Someone on the inside?” “_

_It sounds like it’s time for you to be the blackbird and flip the script,” Emily said with a smile._

JJ clicked on an active username, feeling hopeful that it would be her. Across the world, in a small apartment in Paris, a box popped up on screen.

“Cheetobreath1978 would like to challenge you to scrabble. Accept?”

Emily clicked the accept box, and entered a single word. If it really was JJ, she would understand exactly what it meant. **LOST**

JJ felt her heart drop. **SAME** , she typed. She knew that this was Emily, and as much as it was sad that she hadn’t seen her best friend in weeks, she was glad to know that she was okay. She smiled sadly at the next word. **MISS**.

**SOON** was the next word she typed. If she could help it, Emily would be home soon. She felt at ease. Even though she couldn’t be with her best friend, she knew that Emily was okay, and that had to be enough until she could get Doyle and bring the woman home.

The next word that Emily entered made JJ laugh out loud. Even from halfway around the world, Emily still somehow managed to tell her what to do. **SLEEP**. She knew that Emily was right, she had work in a few short hours, but she wasn’t about to cut this time short.  **NEVER**.


End file.
